28 March 2006

Monochrome

This little bird is a favorite of mine. Of all my attempts at linework, I think he's my best.

27 March 2006

Monster

When I was a little girl, we had all the necessary monsters assigned to our homes. In charge, was the boogie-man, who waited outside both the front and side door, and under each and every downstairs window. Inside, were the under-the-bed monster, the behind-the-furnace monster, and the soap-scummed, tubular bathtub-drain monster. And just as I learned how to fold laundry, and set a proper table, I also learned how to thwart their efforts to do whatever it is they were going to do once their efforts were realized.

In addition to these regulation household monsters, was the specially assigned monster-with-the-big-red-hand, living in my bedroom closet. He was invisible in the light. But like florescent clay, his squinty monster eyes, and pudgy monster hand, would glow in the dark.

I knew that if I were ever to look into his eyes, I would go insane. So at bedtime, when my mom turned off the light, and shut the door, closing off any hope of rescue, I would hide under my covers. And to make certain that I didn’t forget myself, and accidentally look into the eyes of the monster-with-the-big-red-hand, I would carefully tuck my blanket under the back of my head.

Why didn’t you just shut the closet door? some of you may ask.

And I would answer that in the whole of my childhood, in all the many different places we lived, as my father was stationed from state to state, country to country…not once did any of my bedrooms have a properly-functioning closet door.

16 March 2006

Hollow


Pedophiles don't molest children.
Pedophiles hunt children.
Pedophiles assault children; pedophiles rape children;
and pedophiles murder children.

15 March 2006

Incognito

I was up late the other night, working on the spring header for an MSNgroup site that I manage, when suddenly I was overcome with a craving for chocolate. It was 2:30 in the morning, and I realized the streets were crawling with jocks and other such subhuman life…and the closest stop~n~rob is like 7 blocks away. So I decided to disguise myself - maybe try to look like a guy.

I've still got this old pair of Tom's jeans that I slip on when I'm doing handiwork or muckier yard work. But now you gotta understand, Tom was my height, but had much shorter legs, and he was very muscular. His waist got a bit wide, though – about a 38, and he wore relaxed-fit jeans with 30/32 inch inseam. (I have a 34 inch inseam.)

Well, I decided to put them on…but instead of overlapping the two sides of the fly, and pinning them, like I do here at home, I decided to hold them up with a pair of Santa-suit suspenders. (very roomy!) No one would see them, cuz they were going to be hidden by Tom's big bulky grey Pendleton jacket.

I tucked my hair under the collar, and put on one of his RMEF caps, a pair of really warm socks, and my redwing boots. ♪taDA ♪

Well, I got there, no problem. I didn't meet a soul on the street. I got inside, and was looking for a bag of Hershey kisses. Well, some guy comes up next to me…and I pretend he's not there…when alluva sudden he starts chuckling.

He says "trying to get up your nerve to rob the place?"

That startled me enough to look over, and it was cop! And now he's actually laughing!

"I don't know what you mean. I'm here for the chocolate."

"So what's with the costume?" You coming from a party?"

I told him the truth. "I'm came here on foot, and didn't wanna attract attention to myself."