15 March 2006

Incognito

I was up late the other night, working on the spring header for an MSNgroup site that I manage, when suddenly I was overcome with a craving for chocolate. It was 2:30 in the morning, and I realized the streets were crawling with jocks and other such subhuman life…and the closest stop~n~rob is like 7 blocks away. So I decided to disguise myself - maybe try to look like a guy.

I've still got this old pair of Tom's jeans that I slip on when I'm doing handiwork or muckier yard work. But now you gotta understand, Tom was my height, but had much shorter legs, and he was very muscular. His waist got a bit wide, though – about a 38, and he wore relaxed-fit jeans with 30/32 inch inseam. (I have a 34 inch inseam.)

Well, I decided to put them on…but instead of overlapping the two sides of the fly, and pinning them, like I do here at home, I decided to hold them up with a pair of Santa-suit suspenders. (very roomy!) No one would see them, cuz they were going to be hidden by Tom's big bulky grey Pendleton jacket.

I tucked my hair under the collar, and put on one of his RMEF caps, a pair of really warm socks, and my redwing boots. ♪taDA ♪

Well, I got there, no problem. I didn't meet a soul on the street. I got inside, and was looking for a bag of Hershey kisses. Well, some guy comes up next to me…and I pretend he's not there…when alluva sudden he starts chuckling.

He says "trying to get up your nerve to rob the place?"

That startled me enough to look over, and it was cop! And now he's actually laughing!

"I don't know what you mean. I'm here for the chocolate."

"So what's with the costume?" You coming from a party?"

I told him the truth. "I'm came here on foot, and didn't wanna attract attention to myself."

14 comments:

Caroline said...

Very interesting definition of not attracting attention to yourself!

Love the stripey socks!

The Unknown said...

HA! Funny. Are you being hassled by the "MAN"?
love

Sandy said...

ROFLMAO...Too funny, I cannot stop laughing. I can just see you.

Well, did you offer the nice man some kisses?

S

andrea said...

Hilarious! But where's the photographic evidence?

Catnapping said...

caroline: I love my socks!

unknown: harassed by the fuzz! love love

sandy: and ruin his donut diet? no way!

andrea: up in smoke.

Aristocrat said...

Hilarious encounter in the dead of the night :)

Aristocrat said...

Thanks for the compliment catnapping. And for those links too, I will your compliment.

Postscript: I didn't know what senryu was until you pointed it out. Thanks for that!

Pat Paulk said...

Very, very funny!!!

Janet said...

hahahahhahahaha.....thanks for the chuckle!

ValGalArt said...

This is hilarious!!! love it! nothing funnier than real life!

Borut said...

A great story. Reminds me of one of my own 'little transformations'.

Knitting Painter Woman said...

What a wonderful story! And knowing a fair number of law officers... I'm sure you brightened up his shift. I bet nobody ELSE talked to you, right? Which was the whole point. (I hope you didn't really have stripey socks on, though. :-)

And "Hollow" hits the bullseye cognitively, visually and emotionally.

merlinprincesse said...

This story is nice and funny! And the cop was certainlay a cool guy!

mist1 said...

I love suspenders. When my grandpa died, I raided his closet for his.