I was up late the other night, working on the spring header for an MSNgroup site that I manage, when suddenly I was overcome with a craving for chocolate. It was 2:30 in the morning, and I realized the streets were crawling with jocks and other such subhuman life…and the closest stop~n~rob is like 7 blocks away. So I decided to disguise myself - maybe try to look like a guy.
I've still got this old pair of Tom's jeans that I slip on when I'm doing handiwork or muckier yard work. But now you gotta understand, Tom was my height, but had much shorter legs, and he was very muscular. His waist got a bit wide, though – about a 38, and he wore relaxed-fit jeans with 30/32 inch inseam. (I have a 34 inch inseam.)
Well, I decided to put them on…but instead of overlapping the two sides of the fly, and pinning them, like I do here at home, I decided to hold them up with a pair of Santa-suit suspenders. (very roomy!) No one would see them, cuz they were going to be hidden by Tom's big bulky grey Pendleton jacket.
I tucked my hair under the collar, and put on one of his RMEF caps, a pair of really warm socks, and my redwing boots. ♪taDA ♪
Well, I got there, no problem. I didn't meet a soul on the street. I got inside, and was looking for a bag of Hershey kisses. Well, some guy comes up next to me…and I pretend he's not there…when alluva sudden he starts chuckling.
He says "trying to get up your nerve to rob the place?"
That startled me enough to look over, and it was cop! And now he's actually laughing!
"I don't know what you mean. I'm here for the chocolate."
"So what's with the costume?" You coming from a party?"
I told him the truth. "I'm came here on foot, and didn't wanna attract attention to myself."